In my first draft of this sketch I left it at that, but it felt a bit negative to leave it hanging on everything we do that’s wrong and harmful. Stonewalling: withdrawing from the conflict, refusing to engage.Contempt: talking down from a position of superiority, insults, eye-rolling, name-calling - the most dangerous of all. Defensiveness: counterattacking, whining, being the innocent victim.Criticism: framing problems as the partner’s defect.In fact, they found that by watching just 3 mins of a conflict conversation between a couple they could predict whether they would still be together years later with over 90% accuracy. They are called this as, left unchecked, they can spell the death knell to a once healthy relationship. John Gottman and colleagues identified what he calls the four horsemen of the apocalypse for relationships. The 4 horsemen of relationship apocalypse
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